Ideal Job.

Abstract: For all those know me well my quest for an ideal job doesn’t come as a surprise. If this did surprise you then, Please!! Try harder to know me. With my limited knowledge and inadequate skills and coupled with convoluted view about this world I try to reason what could have been my ideal job. Organization of this study is simple, terse and precise. Three very good reasons to make it flawed! First I list the jobs that I could have been doing. Second I try to quantify idealness by using my patented metrics. Third like all the dumb studies I conclude! Assumptions in study are finite but can’t be listed because of word limit restrictions. Also whoever said making assumptions was making ass of you and me, doesn’t have a chance to prove his theory using my study as an example. Hard luck sucker!

This study is comparison of different professions and doesn’t dwell in to how to get these jobs. For this please refer [1]. Everyday a new profession comes by and old one vanishes. So choosing the Sample set for this analysis becomes very crucial and for this I use the principles of [2]. Also since during the writing I use job and profession synonymously which confused me too at times, I don’t blame you if you were confused too.

Professions/Jobs:

Superhero: Well many of you might argue that being a superhero is not a profession, since most of the time superheroes are accidental or born. But since I got them from my references ask them. Also I consider Superman as the only superhero because I believe in the logic Bill gives in the movie “Kill Bill -2” [3].
Analysis:
Compensation: Being a superman sucks when it comes to compensation, since you have to work in Daily Planet as your part time job. Rating 0.
Benefits: Superman can fly, bend, break and see through things (x-ray vision so can’t see through clothes, too bad! ;)) Rating 10.
Satisfaction: Saving lives and world! You thought 10 again huh? But haven’t you heard of the song where he sings “It’s not easy “so he is very unhappy. Rating 3
Ambiance : Not friendly when lots of people are trying to kill you! Rating 2
Growth: Even though being superman is really cool, after that nothing! You can’t be superman’s manager or something. Rating 2.
Social Status: It’s good, but when most of the time you have to be Kent Clarke it sucks. Rating 5.


Chef:
Analysis:
Compensation: It could be pay well here at least, depending on where you work. Rating 6.
Benefits: You could get to probably sleep and definitely eat for free in the hotel! After that not much I guess. Rating 4.
Satisfaction: Very tricky! I would be in dilemma. If I cook really good food, people would stuff themselves and get unhealthy and fat. Then have to cook not so tasty food, and then I would feel guilty so! Rating 2.
Ambiance : Not much of an Ambiance if you are in the kitchen all day. Rating 2.
Growth: There is some scope you could be head chef who doesn’t cook and just eats! Rating 4
Social Status: For me rating would be 0, since my mom would have told me Laskmama in your village cooks better! Since I am making an unbiased study I will ignore what I feel. If you could end being on TV and running show Hell’s Kitchen or something you could be a celebrity. Rating 5.


Sportsman: Being a tennis star is the only case study
Analysis:
Compensation: You could be paid well depending on how well you play and what tournaments you win. You could be like me, just unutilized talent!! Rating 4
Benefits: If you aren’t much of a star. Maybe free tennis balls? If you are a star friends with benefits perhaps! Rating 4
Satisfaction: Since you are playing sport, it could be really high. Rating 7
Ambiance : With all kinds of crowd watching you, it could be fun or pressure. Rating 4
Growth: Maybe you could become a coach or commentator. I consider that negative growth. Rating 4
Social Status: Varied and can be exponential so Rating 3


Porn star:
Analysis:
Compensation: They better be paying some money, when you have be on video doing stuff. Rating 5
Benefits: It goes without saying Rating 10
Satisfaction: They look and claim in the video to be having fun so. Rating 5
Ambiance : Naked and people looking at you. It’s a nightmare come true. Rating 2
Growth: You could be a director of porn movie, which isn’t much. Rating 4
Social Status: Not much of a status so Rating 2


Results: are computed using complex mathematical computation algorithm called addition.

Superman 23
Chef 23
Sportsman 26
Porn star 28

Conclusion: [4].



References:
[1] “How to get ideal jobs without sweat” – Kolipaka, Ravi and Mehta Chintan.

[2] “How to choose few things out of many things” – Gera, Rahul and Moin, Furqan

[3] “It’s not easy”- Foo fighters.

[4] “How to conclude when you have conclude” – Patel, Nimesh and Ajmera, Hardik

Jokes apart: My dream job would be host on “Lonely Planet”