Scarlet

Scarlet

As foliage
Tears from those azure eyes
Soaked her sorrow in wine
Dried the pain in dying sun
Refusal, felt like fervor

They have dried
For long bitter winter ahead
Knew to love once
Artic, refusal no longer, never

Grabs the dagger
Slays the deserter
End to the misery
Slowly it springs, suddenly it pours
Like tempest summer rains, forever

Alter ego1: Scarlet has been hailed as comparable to Shakespearean sonnet. In this sonnet comparison is between the tears of woman who has been betrayed to the four seasons. Poet's eccentricity, peculiarity and brilliance are seen lividly in the sonnet. He’s rightly conferred as king of tragedy. Truly a tragic master piece!

Alter ego 2: Retarded, dim-witted and immature are few of many feelings I get after reading this crap. Poet is comparable to Duddits the retarded guy in Stephen King’s novel Dream Catchers. Its rumored that author didn’t even know the proper order of seasons and googled it to get it right. There is more to sonnet than 14 lines of crap!

Ideal Job.

Abstract: For all those know me well my quest for an ideal job doesn’t come as a surprise. If this did surprise you then, Please!! Try harder to know me. With my limited knowledge and inadequate skills and coupled with convoluted view about this world I try to reason what could have been my ideal job. Organization of this study is simple, terse and precise. Three very good reasons to make it flawed! First I list the jobs that I could have been doing. Second I try to quantify idealness by using my patented metrics. Third like all the dumb studies I conclude! Assumptions in study are finite but can’t be listed because of word limit restrictions. Also whoever said making assumptions was making ass of you and me, doesn’t have a chance to prove his theory using my study as an example. Hard luck sucker!

This study is comparison of different professions and doesn’t dwell in to how to get these jobs. For this please refer [1]. Everyday a new profession comes by and old one vanishes. So choosing the Sample set for this analysis becomes very crucial and for this I use the principles of [2]. Also since during the writing I use job and profession synonymously which confused me too at times, I don’t blame you if you were confused too.

Professions/Jobs:

Superhero: Well many of you might argue that being a superhero is not a profession, since most of the time superheroes are accidental or born. But since I got them from my references ask them. Also I consider Superman as the only superhero because I believe in the logic Bill gives in the movie “Kill Bill -2” [3].
Analysis:
Compensation: Being a superman sucks when it comes to compensation, since you have to work in Daily Planet as your part time job. Rating 0.
Benefits: Superman can fly, bend, break and see through things (x-ray vision so can’t see through clothes, too bad! ;)) Rating 10.
Satisfaction: Saving lives and world! You thought 10 again huh? But haven’t you heard of the song where he sings “It’s not easy “so he is very unhappy. Rating 3
Ambiance : Not friendly when lots of people are trying to kill you! Rating 2
Growth: Even though being superman is really cool, after that nothing! You can’t be superman’s manager or something. Rating 2.
Social Status: It’s good, but when most of the time you have to be Kent Clarke it sucks. Rating 5.


Chef:
Analysis:
Compensation: It could be pay well here at least, depending on where you work. Rating 6.
Benefits: You could get to probably sleep and definitely eat for free in the hotel! After that not much I guess. Rating 4.
Satisfaction: Very tricky! I would be in dilemma. If I cook really good food, people would stuff themselves and get unhealthy and fat. Then have to cook not so tasty food, and then I would feel guilty so! Rating 2.
Ambiance : Not much of an Ambiance if you are in the kitchen all day. Rating 2.
Growth: There is some scope you could be head chef who doesn’t cook and just eats! Rating 4
Social Status: For me rating would be 0, since my mom would have told me Laskmama in your village cooks better! Since I am making an unbiased study I will ignore what I feel. If you could end being on TV and running show Hell’s Kitchen or something you could be a celebrity. Rating 5.


Sportsman: Being a tennis star is the only case study
Analysis:
Compensation: You could be paid well depending on how well you play and what tournaments you win. You could be like me, just unutilized talent!! Rating 4
Benefits: If you aren’t much of a star. Maybe free tennis balls? If you are a star friends with benefits perhaps! Rating 4
Satisfaction: Since you are playing sport, it could be really high. Rating 7
Ambiance : With all kinds of crowd watching you, it could be fun or pressure. Rating 4
Growth: Maybe you could become a coach or commentator. I consider that negative growth. Rating 4
Social Status: Varied and can be exponential so Rating 3


Porn star:
Analysis:
Compensation: They better be paying some money, when you have be on video doing stuff. Rating 5
Benefits: It goes without saying Rating 10
Satisfaction: They look and claim in the video to be having fun so. Rating 5
Ambiance : Naked and people looking at you. It’s a nightmare come true. Rating 2
Growth: You could be a director of porn movie, which isn’t much. Rating 4
Social Status: Not much of a status so Rating 2


Results: are computed using complex mathematical computation algorithm called addition.

Superman 23
Chef 23
Sportsman 26
Porn star 28

Conclusion: [4].



References:
[1] “How to get ideal jobs without sweat” – Kolipaka, Ravi and Mehta Chintan.

[2] “How to choose few things out of many things” – Gera, Rahul and Moin, Furqan

[3] “It’s not easy”- Foo fighters.

[4] “How to conclude when you have conclude” – Patel, Nimesh and Ajmera, Hardik

Jokes apart: My dream job would be host on “Lonely Planet”

Breaking News: Boredom not a killer!

In a sensational and some what shocking discovery of recent times, an inane resident of Waltham has made accidental and many believe a forced breakthrough that “Boredom is not a killer”. This highly classified and perilous experiment was carried out single handedly by 27 year old Windsor village resident during the Labor Day long weekend. Unconfirmed sources say that discovery was made when the subject locked himself away from the rest of the world in solitary confinement. It’s not clear whether his phone had some problem or was switched off. But what was clear was the internet he steals was inadvertently turned off by his neighbors. Many people had raised their concern when subject had his gmail chat status as “High on life”. Many psychologists have raised concerns that this maybe have had adverse and irreversible effects on the subject and making him believe he can do anything he wants. Putting his and people around him at danger.

Since discoverer wasn’t available for comment, we asked his friends about this. One of his friends who refused to give her identity yet confirms she is Jackies girlfriend said “I always knew there was something wrong with that guy, he has abnormally big eyes with too much white stuff in it”. But his friend Walking Wiki was more supportive and said “He is doing some ground research for his upcoming debut novel Memoirs in Alcatraz”. We had also chance ask his friend in San Diego whether he knew about this, he denied any knowledge of it, but confirmed that his friend was capable of it. Discoverers darling friends from Darling St. had lot to say about it too. Butter Badshah didn’t have much to say though except for probing about UK visas to our reporter. Chintu was vehemently cursing the place Waltham for having this effect to his friend and has pledged to start a club “Bring back Kalko to Boston” Club. When we contacted Power Patel he was having power shower, after 3 hours we contacted him and he was doing his power prayers. Incessant attempts finally paid off when we finally did manage to get him, but he was too tired and wanted a power nap. We were also fortunate to get a comment from sensational Sachin Woods who remarked “This is sensational genius discovery, and should sensationally be called 1st law of Waltham”.


Although our team feels that “Hey baby and her boyfriend were the real catalysts (please read culprits) for this discovery since they had been to Virginia for the long weekend.

Reuters